Trust

This post is coming atcha three weeks into my school at UGA. I’m here, writing to my Facebook and Twitter and anyone else to tell you that everything is totally fine, I’m fine, it’s fine, my life is going perfectly and I am having no difficulty!!!!

Not.

Actually, life is hard. College is hard. I am struggling. Some days (lots of days) are better than others, but some days really suck and I just wanna crawl into my bed and go to sleep until the next day.

It isn’t that college isn’t awesome, because trust me, it is #godawgs. But it is so overwhelming.

First, do you have any idea how hard it is to learn 6347069724 new names?? Answer: impossible. I’m trying to get to know hall mates and roommates and sisters (hootie hoo!!) and classmates and professors and church friends and other random people I am meeting in random places. It’s also balancing my schedule: meetings and classes and campus events and campus ministries and birthday dinners and STUDYING OBVIOUSLY (no worries dad) and church and time with friends and time to myself and to rest. Everything and everyone want a piece of me and piece of my time. And I want to give it!!! I want to meet new people and explore and do fun things.

Some days, this overwhelming is fun and good and I’m jumping from friend to friend, event to event finding all kinds of things to do. It’s exciting and new and I’m so so so into it.

But then other days… other days I’m not. I’m tired and I feel lonely, even among tons of other people, and I just feel weary. The greatness of all the newness gets to be too much and I just wanna lay down and call my mom or cry or sleep or all three. I feel like college students can relate. It just gets hard sometimes.

BUT this is when God steps in. The beauty of Jesus and His love is that it covers us even when we are overwhelmed and a mess – ESPECIALLY when we are overwhelmed and a mess. Those days when I feel stressed or lonely or scared I won’t be able to make friends are the days when He steps in and makes his presence known.

College so far has been a serious test to how well I can trust Jesus: with my friendships, with my sorority, classes and grades, boyfriend, future career, and all the other unknowns I have. But I am finding that in both the quiet, lonely moments and the loud, crazy moments He is good and faithful and more than anything else I could hope for. When I am disappointed He is constant. When I am lonely He is my greatest friend. When I am scared or nervous He is my assurance. When I am physically (the Brumby hill is real), mentally, and emotionally worn thin, He is able to hold the weight of my burdens and I can rest in Him. College is hard, but Jesus is the perseverance I need to get through it.

Because what I am slowly realizing is that even when outside circumstances do not spark joy in me, living with the knowledge that the God of the universe loves me and chose me and cares for me brings a joy that surpasses circumstance or difficulty. And He is faithful. Always.

But I don’t write this post on the other side, seeing how he took my difficulty away and now everything is fine and good and I “see the light”. No, I write this in the muck of transitioning into college, trying to learn how to live on my own and make decisions for myself. I write this, having just had a bad day yesterday, but waking up this morning and realizing that His mercies are new every morning and I can trust Him. Because I think that is what life is: learning to trust him in the day to day, not after it is all said and done.

So that is the prayer for this slightly struggling, also loving life and enjoying everything, college kid. To remember He is good, to choose to have joy in His love for me, and to trust that He is standing by me each and every day.

 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” Matthew 11:28-29 

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